Solar Eclipse
by BellaLuna 1012
Summary: After a disastrous birthday party at the Cullens, Bella decides it would be best for Edward, if she leaves. Can Edward stop her before it's too late? Twist on New Moon. Stephenie Meyer credit. I own nothing. Fluff-ish: cotton candy for your brain. *******BONUS ALTERNATE ENDING*******
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story...reviews are welcome...be gentle...still a work in progress. Thanks for reading!**

Solar Eclipse

My birthday had been a disaster. It was a nightmare coming true for Edward and I felt totally responsible. I should have been more stern about not making a big deal about my birthday. I should have just told Alice no. A simple paper cut had put Jasper in a feeding frenzy, leaving Edward no choice but to protect me from his family. I flew through the air crashing into a table full dishes; a gash on my arm with my blood spewing was now replacing the once simple paper cut. It was the end result of Edward trying to push me out of the way, losing his feather like touch that he always had to practice with me. A party, in a house full of vampires, how could I put them in such an uncomfortable situation? They all, well except for Rosalie, have been nothing but loving. I should have said no to the party. But I didn't and now it was costing me this pain, Edward's pain.

A tortured look was on Edward's face while he drove me home after the party's disaster. I tried to lighten the mood. "Will you stay while I open the rest of my presents?" I said with a small smile. "It is still your birthday, as you wish," he said, he glanced at me with a smile that didn't quite touch his eyes. His eyes, still the color of liquid gold, looked lost in thought as he stared at the road. He was thinking, probably over thinking. I seemed to be always causing him some kind of pain.

When we reached my house Edward turned off the engine and the silence was deafening. I hadn't realized how much the constant roar of my old truck was filling the silence while he drove. I went to grab the rest of my presents but Edward grabbed everything before I could even touch one. "Don't be silly," he said in a rough tone. Yep. He was definitely still living his nightmare. I was sure he was thinking how else I could hurt myself again tonight. I was a little surprised he didn't offer to carry me.

We said our "goodbyes" in front of Charlie. "See you upstairs?" I whispered into Edward's ear, as he set my gifts on the couch. Edward looked into my eyes. I saw hesitation, questions, and agony all coming from his beautiful eyes. It was too much, I looked away. He took his finger and ever so slightly lifted my chin. His cool touch was a welcoming sign that maybe all was not lost. Maybe he just needed some time. "As you wish," he whispered back, his cool breath, sent my heart beating faster. I closed the door as he left.

Charlie was still watching me as I looked at the floor; my hand resting on my chin, my skin was still cool from Edward's touch. Hope. "What happened to you tonight, Bells?" Charlie asked with a look of disappointment. I had a feeling he wished I was not so accident prone as Edward did. "I just tripped and cut my arm," I said. "It's no big deal." I quickly grabbed my gifts and headed for the stairs. "Night, Dad," I said, as I went upstairs. "Night, Bells," he called back as he settled in on the couch for the rest of the night. I got to my room and threw open the window. I looked for Edward but I didn't see him. Maybe he went home and he will be back later. "Who are you looking for?" a low velvety voice came from behind me. I spun around to see Edward standing there. He gave a small crooked smile and sat down on my bed.

The next couple of hours were a mix of pleasure and pain. I was so happy Edward stayed, but I hated seeing him suffer. I wondered for the first time, if I was good for Edward. He's always telling me that he is not good for me, but maybe it was the other way around, maybe it was me that was the factor of pain. Was I holding him hostage for my own selfish pleasure? He felt a burning fire that I could not possibly comprehend when he was around me. He had to hold back with me, so he would not crush me, kill me even. I was holding him back. My eyes started to get heavy with sleep as Edward held me. He must have noticed because right on cue he started humming the lullaby he wrote for me. I fell asleep quickly in his cool, stone arms. I had nightmares that night; they were all about the torment I was causing Edward.

I woke up sometime around 4 AM finding myself alone in my room. Shaking, I felt something rolling down my cheek. I realized I was crying. I buried my face into my pillow to muffle the sound of my sobs. I was causing so much wrong in Edward's life. Not just physical pain, but emotional, not to mention his sister, Rosalie, hated my guts. Maybe she was right to hate me. If someone was causing such a mess in Edward's life I would hate them too. I hated myself for causing anguish in Edward's life. I sat up, wiping the remaining tears away, my head started to hurt from crying so hard. I got up and went to the window. It was raining outside. It was funny to me how much I hated the rain when I first moved to Forks, now it was comforting. The gentle taps of the raindrops gave me a rhythm in my thoughts.

I knew what I needed to do to rectify what I have done in the Cullens' lives. They will live forever, who am I but a tiny fleck in eternity. I did love Edward Cullen. I loved him so much that I needed to do the most unselfish thing I could think of. I needed to leave Forks. He was more settled here then I was and I missed my Mom more than ever. Charlie would be okay. He was more use to living without then with me. Of course I was just telling myself all of this. It was going to hurt like hell leaving. But nothing could hurt worse than causing the one person who made my life worth living, pain. He would be here in Forks, living his life and I could get by with that.

I closed my eyes and let the fact sink in that I was going to be leaving Forks, Washington. I was going to be leaving Edward Cullen. My heart ripped open as the pain of never seeing his perfect face, never feeling his cool touch, never kissing his hard, yet gentle lips, never looking into his golden topaz eyes that not only held so much love for me, but made me feel alive, never again. I grabbed my chest and took deep breathes as I realized I was starting to hyperventilate. I walked around to my bed and grabbed my cell off of the nightstand. It would be after 7 AM in Florida. My mom would be up by now. She loved doing sunrise yoga on the beach. I slowly dialed her number, deep breaths with each press of the button. I can do this. I can do this for Edward.

"Bella? What's wrong? Is something wrong with Charlie?" my Mom's panicked voice answered the phone. "Mom, just calm down, everything is fine. I just…I need…I want to come home." I said. Tears spill over as I tell her how I thought the weather was finally getting to me and I just wanted to see what it's like in Florida. "Is it Edward?" her voice finding my lie. "I just need to be in Florida, Mom. Please can't we just leave it at that?" my voice pleading with her not to go into detail on why I needed to leave. "You always have a home here Bella. Do you want me to talk to Charlie?"

"No. No. I wanna talk to him about everything. I don't want him to think it is anything he has done. He has been pretty great, really." I said. How am I going to leave him too? "Okay, sweetie, well do you need me to get a ticket?"

"No, Mom I got some money. Don't worry about anything. I will call you when I get my ticket. Listen I gotta go, I love you. Don't worry about anything, okay?" I said. "I always worry about you Bella. You are so far away." my Mom choked back tears. I quickly ended the call with my Mom. I really didn't need someone else crying, I had enough trouble stopping the tears myself, knowing Charlie would be up soon. I headed for the bathroom to take a long shower. I looked in the mirror and it was worse than I thought. My eyes were so swollen they look like they were shut. My nose was red and sore. My lips were swollen and red as well. I had to look normal. I can do this I said to myself. I turned on the water, hoping the hot water would reduce the swelling.

It was a longer shower then I had planned. I think I must have dazed out. I don't even remember washing my hair. I felt like I was walking in a fog. I just threw on whatever was on my bedroom floor. I pulled my wet hair in a ponytail and looked in the mirror before heading downstairs. This was as good as it was going to get with me looking "normal" and it didn't look that good.

Charlie must have left while I was in the shower. I grabbed a bowl and poured myself some cereal, but before I could get the milk I realized I had no appetite at all. I emptied the bowl of cereal down the garbage disposal. I watched, as I turned on the disposal and water, the cereal going down the drain. It was like my life that I loved, was going down the drain. I fought back the tears as I looked at the clock. It was time for school. My moment had finally come, I needed to be normal, I needed to be fine. I needed to put on an act of my life that leaving was best for Edward and the Cullens. It was show time.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Drizzling rain was falling when I stepped outside. As I turned around from locking the front door, my breath caught in my chest. My heart started to beat wildly. I thought I had more time before I saw him. Edward's shiny black Volvo met me at the end of the driveway. I slowly walked to the car. Had I started breathing yet? I don't think so. _Breathe Bella_. I opened the passenger side door and lowered my head to see Edward. He looked like perfection. He turned and looked at me. I stopped breathing again. _Breathe_.

"Hi," I said. "Do you mind if we have a break today from school?" his voice was rough, and unsure. I quickly got in the car, I would do anything for him, even move away to the other side of the country, so he would be free from the consist burden of trying not to kill me. "Okay, where to?" my voice was cool and calm. Taking in deep breaths I tried to build up my confidence. Edward smiled my favorite crooked smile and started the engine. He slowly slid his hand into mine, never looking away from the road. His cool fingers sent an electric charge up my arm swirling around my heart. Edward let out a small sigh.

We drove to the end of an old dirt path; I knew where we would be going. It was a place where we have been many times before, our meadow. Our little oasis was nothing more than an open field full of colorful wildflowers in the Spring and Summer. Rich emerald green fir trees, surrounds the field, giving us a lush curtain for privacy. It was the most magical place I have ever been to and it was there were I started to believe in fairy tales and happily ever afters. Edward got out of the car and in one heartbeat was on my side of the car, opening my door. "Shall we?" he said, extending his hand out to help me out of the car. "We shall," I said in a small voice. My confidence was not where I wanted it to be yet.

I climbed onto his back holding on tight around his neck. I was getting better with his running, but I still had a death grip around his neck. I wasn't worried about Edward hitting a tree or anything, I was worried about me losing my grip and falling off. We took off, feeling the wind was thrilling and I quickly realized that this was something else I would miss. The rain had stopped, but my effort in building my confidence deceived me and my face was wet from tears. We reached our spot in no time, quickly hopping off I went to wipe my tears before Edward could see them. "Don't," he said spinning around so fast it was a blur. He was cupping my face in his smooth stone hands. "Why, would you leave? Alice saw you deciding to leave Forks because of me. Do you know what that would do to me?"

"It would set you free," I said, believing it. I never understood how Edward Cullen could love me. I was boring, plain, unimaginable simple. Edward laughed, "You think removing my reason for existence, my heart, would be best for me?" "Edw..,"

"No!" he said. "Listen," his eyes were pleading with me now. "You are my sun; my source of light for everything that is good. You make me believe that deep down in this soulless body there is a 17 year old boy in love. You make me want to believe that my existence has meaning, and that is to love you. Without you, what do I have?"

"You have your family," I said now tears streaming my face. "They love you too." "No, not like you; your love is complete. It's whole," taking my hands into his; he placed them over his chest. "Your love makes me more human than ever before. Without your love, I am just a soulless monster."

I looked at his hands holding mine. I released them and slowly moved away, wiping my tears. I looked at Edward he was so still. A stone statue of perfection stood in front of me, I walked over to face him, looking up into his eyes, "Edward," I whispered, touching his cheek with my hand. He closed his eyes and let out a breath. "Bella," he choked out, "Please. Please don't do this. Don't leave me." I looked into his eyes; they were not quite as golden; they were glossy, pleading with me to stay. His words were begging me. I think if vampires could cry, he would be. I broke down in a painful sob, Edward quickly held me in his arms, "Bella. Bella. Bella," his voice muffled, still pleading, as he buried his face in my hair.

I gained enough strength, "I need to do this Edward. It's for the best. Please, you said from the beginning you wouldn't stop me if I ever decided to leave." It was the lowest blow I could think of, using his words against him, how could I go that low?

And with that he let me go. Using the most hateful words I could have possibly imagined, my reason for living, backed away. "Yes, I did say that didn't I?" slowly shaking his head. "We had better go," he said. I climbed on his back and tried to enjoy one last ride. I wished he hadn't taken me to our meadow. I wished we could have left it perfect, and unmarked, free from this moment. The lowest blow must have worked because Edward seemed very different on the way back to the car. He was fast and smooth moving through the forest. Was he excited that I finally set him free? He didn't have to protect me anymore; he didn't have be my soulless angel, as he once called himself.

I jumped down when we reached the car. "When will you be leaving?" he said so quietly I almost didn't hear him. "I…I don't know. I am paying for my own ticket so next week I guess since those tickets are cheaper. I haven't even told Charlie yet," I said. Edward looked down at the ground and then looked into my eyes. The corners of his mouth lifted into a faint smile. "Good. There's time."

"Time, time for what?" I asked. Softly he laughed, taking his finger; he caresses my cheek sending chills down my spine. "To win you back Bella Swan." His voice was low, rough full of passion and purpose. "You might think I would be better off without you, but I know different. I have seen my life without and I have seen my life with you. I can promise you I will fight for the life that I have with you. I see it in your eyes, doubt. I don't need to read your mind to know that you have doubts about leaving."

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. Our lips slowly touched, his lips gently crushing into mine. I held onto my hands, fighting the urge to run my fingers through his hair. Edward backed away, looking into my eyes. "Are you ready to leave?" asked Edward.

"Yeah, I think so," I said, looking down at my bandage, memories from other night, played in my mind. The bandage and the slight sting of my stiches told me that it would only be a matter of time before something else happened with my bad luck. He held my door open and started the car before I had a chance to put on my seat belt. I watched him looking up at the sky as the rain grew heavier.

I knew two things from our conversation today. One, I wanted to believe that leaving Forks would be best for Edward, because he deserved a life free from the consist burning he felt for my blood. And two, it was going to take everything and more for me to leave, because Edward Cullen was not going to fight fair.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Later that evening I decided to cook Charlie's favorite dinner. I looked through the faded green recipe box for Grandma Swan's recipe for Beef Stroganoff. It was a perfect dinner to cook on a night like tonight. The sauce had to simmer for a while so there was plenty of time to think. How was I going to tell Charlie I was leaving? I wanted to make sure Charlie understood that my reason for leaving had nothing to do with him. Charlie and I lived together quite nicely, maybe even better than me and my Mom.

When Edward had dropped me off after our conversation in the meadow, I went upstairs and got online and ordered my ticket. This Friday was the nearest and cheapest ticket I could find. Four days from now I would be leaving, four days was all I had left with Edward. My heart began to ache. His promise of winning me back seemed absurd to me. He never lost me. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs at him, "You have me! I have always been yours!" I would always be his. I would never love anyone else. If I knew Edward was not suffering the fire that consumed him when he was around me, I could live a life of loneness.

I heard Charlie's police cruiser pull up. I finished draining the egg noodles for the stroganoff. Charlie opened the door and hung his coat and gun up at the door. "Smells great Bells, Beef Stroganoff," he inhales the deep aroma of beef and herbs. "One of my favorite meals," Charlie walked into the kitchen. "Hi, Dad," I looked into his eyes. He looked tired, must have been a long day at work. "How was work?"

"Exhausting. We are working on a case dealing with a couple of missing hikers," he said rubbing his eyes. "Their families are really worried about them. It's pretty tough."

"Sorry, Dad," I said. I hated the fact that I had to tell Charlie some more bad news on top of what already seemed like a stressful day. "Let's eat. I'm starving." Charlie said has he sat at the table. I fixed mine and Charlie's plates and took it over to the table. I sat down, Charlie starting eating immediately. I moved the noodles around on my plate, I still had no appetite. I took a deep breath and looked at Charlie. "Dad, I need to tell you something." I said, looking back down at my plate. "Yeah," he said still chewing his last bite. "I'm moving back in with Mom." I said the words so fast, I wasn't sure if he understood what I had just said. "I see. Well, Bells I know I work long hours, and I am not the cleanest person to live with, but I thought we were getting along pretty good." Charlie's eyes were starting to get wet with tears.

"It's not you Dad. It's…. the weather," finding my lie that I used with my Mom. I was hoping it would work with Charlie. "The weather?" Charlie raised his eyebrows, full of doubt. "Yeah, it rains like, all of the time here. Never any sun and I'm just sorta bummed about it." I was hoping he would believe me. "And this has nothing to do with Edward?" his voice was getting angry. He stood up and started to leave the room. "Dad! No!" I followed him out of the kitchen. He grabbed his jacket. "Dad! Don't. Please!" He wasn't listening. "Daddy!" I screamed, standing in front of the door. He looked into my eyes, now spilling over with tears. "Edward doesn't want me to leave. He is just as upset and is trying to convince me to stay." "Well, Bella, why would you leave? You seem so….happy with Edward?" Charlie asked.

"I….just need to be in Florida," I said. "I know it doesn't make any sense, Dad, but it's just something I've gotta do. At least try to do," my voice faded, it was now showing the same doubt Edward had heard in the meadow. "Isabella, you look at me now and listen good, I'm only going to say this once." Charlie took his hands and placed them on my shoulders. I looked up at my Dad, hoping for some kind of deep words of wisdom that would give me strength in doing the right thing. "I don't want you to leave. I love having you here with me. But I love you so much that if living in Florida is something that would make you happy, something you need to do, then you should go."

"But remember this, you always; always have a home here with me. If you get to Florida and miss the rain, your room will be waiting for you. I will be waiting for you." His voice was sincere, his eyes soft. Charlie slowly walked back into the kitchen. He stopped when he got to the table. "By the way," he turned and looks at me, "if this is about Edward in some way. Understand that love is not perfect. There will never be a moment where every little thing is in its place when it comes to being in a relationship."

"Now I know I am hard on Edward, but I do like him. He loves you. I can never deny that. Sometimes when one person in the relationship has a need, the best thing to do is not leave them, but be there for them. I know love is messy and scary, but real love never gives up. So just….remember that. Your Mom and I could've used some lessons like that you know." Charlie turned back to the table and sat down to finish his dinner.

After I cleaned the kitchen, I went up to my room to work my homework. I had to finish a paper for English on the book we were reading right now, "The Great Gatsby." I had read the book many times, and although it wasn't my favorite, it was an easy assignment. The rain was pouring outside and I wondered if I would be seeing Edward tonight. I was sitting on my bed lost in the world of Daisy and Gatsby when I heard a gentle tapping on my window. I slowly walked over to the window and found

Edward was holding on to the side of my house. I quickly threw open the window. "What are you doing? Why are you tapping on my window?" I said, trying to pull him in.

I went to the linen closet in the hallway and grab a towel for Edward. "Good night Dad," I yelled down the stairs. "Night, Bells." Charlie said over the baseball game on TV. I hurried back to my room, closing the door behind me. "Here," I said handing Edward the towel. "Thank you." Edward's voice was soft and warm. "Why didn't you call or something so I could watch out for you?" I asked. Edward was drying off with the towel. I never thought he could look better than he does every day, but I was wrong. Edward wet was beyond attractive, he was stunning. "I didn't want to bother you and Charlie tonight. I saw your light on so I thought your conversation with Charlie was done."

"Charlie's right you know. True love never gives up." Edward said, taking my hands. I looked into his eyes they were getting darker. I knew he needed to go hunting soon. "Self-sacrifice is also something that happens with true love." I said, trying to slow my heart rate. "So is that what you think you are doing?" he brushes my hair away from my face. I feel my cheeks flush with the warmth of my blood. "Ah, how I will miss that." Edward whispered, as he touched my cheek.

"Edward," I whispered. "At my birthday party, after…. Your face, your eyes, there was so much pain, so much regret." I took Edward's hand and led him to my bed where we sat down. I turned towards him. "I don't want to see you like that ever. I… trip and fall, and bleed almost daily. It's only a matter of time before I have another moment where…" my voice faded. "A moment where I have to force myself not to kill you?" Edward's tone was rough and raw. "Yes. Something like that." I looked away.

"Bella, the thirst is always there. You know that. You leaving will not stop my consist battle between me and, the monster that lives inside of me."

"But, it's my blood that causes you the most pain, the most thirst." I couldn't let him think that life was easy with me, because I knew it wasn't.

"Yes, but it's your love that causes me the most joy." Edward stood up and kneeled before me. "It's your smile that causes me to be at a loss for words. It's your warm chocolate eyes, which causes me to melt and become completely yours." Edward slowly picks of my hand. "And it's your touch that sends electricity through my dry veins, making my heart beat."

"Edward, I love you so much. I…. don't know. You don't want me to become like you, but I cannot have you suffer either." I would have thought there were no tears left for tonight, but I was wrong. As the tears fell, Edward wiped them away.

We didn't say anything else for the night. He held me in his strong arms and I fell asleep thinking of ways I could possibly change Edward's mind about me leaving. I knew leaving him was going to rip my heart out. I knew leaving him was going to end my life in a way. But I also knew that Edward would move on when I left. The burning fire he felt for my blood would subside.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The morning light streamed into my window, waking me up, the next day. The skies were a cloudless, bright blue so I instantly knew the Cullens would be missing school today. I looked out my window, feeling the warmth of the sun. My hand searched for Edward. A cool hard hand tenderly slid down my arm, finding my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"Good morning, beautiful," his voice was smooth and sweet. I turned to look at him, but I when I did I was alone. I quickly sat up in bed. "Edward?" I whispered looking around my room. "Shhh," a low hush was coming from my closet. I laid back down and covered myself with my blanket. Charlie carefully opened my door. "Bella," Charlie's voice was low. "Yeah Dad?" I said, rubbing my eyes. "I'm heading off to work now, but I thought we could go out to dinner tonight. You know, give you the night off from cooking and taking care of me."

I sat up in bed. "Yeah Dad, that sounds nice. Thanks," I said. "Oh, umm, you can invite Edward to go with us if you want. I know you will want to see him as much as you can before you leave." Charlie said. His face blushed, which caused my cheeks to blush along with him. "Thanks Dad, yeah I will check with Edward."

"See you tonight. Have a good day at school," Charlie said. He turned and left my room; closing the door behind him.

"Interesting," a warm honey, voice said from my closest. "What?" I asked, as I got out of bed. Edward opened my closet door and step out. "Charlie's thoughts, I thought I was the only one who was going crazy thinking about you leaving, but Charlie is following close behind."

"Charlie is strong, he will be okay," I said mainly to myself. "I'm sorry. I should not have told you, but I wanted you to know that you leaving would affect more than just me and my family." Edward said as I looked into his eyes; they were dark today, almost black as coal.

"I know it's not going to be easy." I said as I touch the dark circles under his eyes. "But I at least need to try to see if this is going to work. When will you able to go hunt?"

"You're avoiding the subject," he teased. "Hmmm. Well I do need to go and get ready for school. I guess I will be going alone today." I said, looking out the window. A soft, feather touch on my chin caused my heart to beat faster. I turned to look at him. "You will soon be going to a new school every day without me. It will be good practice for you," he said, his voice was rough, his eyes, cold.

The reality of what was happening hit me and knocked the breath out of me. I bent over; holding on to my knees, inhaling deep breaths trying to concentrate on not hyperventilating again.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I just want you to really think about what you are doing by leaving Forks, who's lives you will be turning upside down." He was holding me. I never felt him pick me up. I found myself burying my face in his shirt. His scent was intoxicating, warm spice and sweetness fogged up my senses, I thought of nothing, but him. His laugh was low and throaty; he must have noticed that I was a prisoner of his presence. "Bella love…. school. You need to go to school. I will be waiting for you, when you get home." He gently pushed me away. "Go get ready; you're going to be late."

I quickly got up and rushed to the bathroom. The hot shower cleared my head. What was I doing with Edward being here in my room? I needed a clean break if I ever thought this was going to work. I decided that I needed to tell him that for the rest of the time I was here, I wasn't going to see him. Could I even form those words? Forcing myself on a plane and sending myself away was one thing, but with Edward so close would I have the willpower to stay away?

After I got dressed I went downstairs to eat breakfast. I found Edward sitting at the kitchen table reading my copy of "The Great Gatsby." I looked at him sitting there reading, as the sun played with his skin, sending rainbows everywhere. Could I do this? This was a good last memory of him. His auburn hair tossed casual; glossy in the sunlight, his blue button down was a little wrinkly, but still showed his hard and muscular body.

His eyes were the only thing missing from my picture of perfection of Edward. My favorite eyes were the color of warm butterscotch. I was able to look deeper into them when they were so warm. When they were black like they were today, I knew he was very thirsty. His throat must have been on fire, and yet he was here with me, patiently waiting for me, reading a book he has read a thousand times. I needed to let him go.

"Edward, we need to talk," my voice was shaking. Edward looked up from the book. My face must have looked awful, because in a flash he was standing in front of me, his eyes full of concern. "What is it?" he said. "I'm not strong. I can't be with you and just leave. I need to go ahead and just break away….. Some space between us before I leave." I said, half crying, half choking.

"Oh. I see." Edward's voice broke at the end. "So this is it. You don't want to see me anymore." his voice was full of sadness and rejection.

"Edward, I…." I looked up to find myself alone in the kitchen. My legs gave way and I collapsed onto the kitchen floor. Loud sobs broke out as I held myself into a ball. All I could think about was how the life that I knew and loved was over.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It wasn't until lunch that I was able to leave the house to go to school. The sun was shining so bright, that my eyes burned when I went outside. I drove slowly to school. I was in no mood to talk or see anyone, but I needed to let the main office know that I was leaving. I wanted to at least tell Angela that I was leaving. Everyone else I really didn't want to let know. I knew Jessica would ask thousands of too personal questions. I thought if I could just get past today, I would skip school tomorrow. I would allow myself to be swallowed by the darkness that I felt.

It was my lunch period when I got to school. I headed towards the cafeteria and opened the doors. Faces that I knew and faces that I didn't know, all seemed to turn and look at me when I walked in. I flushed a bright red, looking down; I let my hair hide most of my face. I sat down at the usual table with all of my friends. "You look like hell," Mike said. "Hmmm," was all I cared enough to say.

"Bella are you okay?" Jessica asked in her all too noisy tone. "Fine," I said. Everyone seemed to get my subtle hint that I was not up for any conversation. The table hummed with everyone else talking about the nice weather and the finalizing of the latest beach trip down to La Push. It was time for class, and I welcomed the chance to just sit and zone out without having to worry about answering personal questions.

After school I went to the main office to let the secretary know that I would be changing schools. I filled out the necessary paperwork, but I didn't know the name of the school I would be going to. "Excuse me," I said to the secretary, "I don't know the name of the school I am transferring to." The older woman looked up at me through the rim of her glasses. "We need to know the school's name in order to send transcripts. The paper work cannot be completed until we know the name." she said.

"Oh," I said. "Just get the name and finish the paper work tomorrow. It's fine sweetie," her voice was trying to comfort me. I didn't understand why until I notice there were tears filling my eyes. I quickly blinked them away and inhaled a deep breathe. "Thanks," I said with a slight smile.

It was a total waste coming to school today. I should have stayed home. I should have just the darkness that now was my life, consume me. When I got home, I went straight into my room. I laid down in my bed, not wanting to move ever again. I dosed off and on, thinking about Edward and the sadness that was in his voice. I never heard his voice in such a way that showed pure rejection. The light grew darker

outside and I knew Charlie would be home soon. The idea of going out to dinner, made my stomach churn.

The sound of his car door woke me up from my latest cycle of restless sleep. "Bella?" Charlie called from downstairs. I could hear him as he walked up the stairs. He opened my door. "Bella? Honey?" Charlie walked over to my bed. "Are you sick?"

I looked up at him, nothing left to hide. I was not strong. I was at my weakest point. "No," my voice was weak and hoarse. "Edward and I…." I couldn't finish the sentence. Did we break up? I didn't want to think about it. I closed my eyes.

"Ah, I see," Charlie stroke my hair away from my face. "Well, we will just eat in tonight. Is pizza okay?" The thought of eating anything was laughable, but I didn't want to hurt anyone else today. I shook my head yes. "Okay, then I will go order."

I decided to get up and wash my face so at least I would not ruin Charlie's appetite. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water. The warm water felt good against my tear stained face. I ran a brush through my long, knotted hair.

The doorbell rang, and I went down the stairs to get the door. I opened to door to find Jacob Black standing there alongside his Dad, Billy. "Hi Jacob," my voice was still weak. "Bella…. you look horrible! Are you okay?" Jacob said as he walked into my house. "Come on in," I said annoyed.

"We heard you were leaving Bella. We are sure are going to miss you, but I think it will turn out best for everyone," said Billy. He looked into my eyes, making sure I understood his hidden message. I was now even more annoyed. "Dad your friend is here," I called from behind me. "Come on in here Billy. The game is almost on and I got pizza coming." "Sounds great," Billy called back as he looked at me. Jacob helped wheel Billy into the living room. I was about to close the door, but the pizza delivery guy showed up.

I cleaned up the pizza boxes and soda cans after dinner. I had to admit, eating gave me some energy and I was glad to see Jacob one last time. He was a good friend and I was going to miss him. "Let's go outside while these two old geezers watch the game." Jacob said with a wink. "Okay," I said.

The night was clear and cool. We sat on the front steps, listening to the breeze blow through the leaves on the trees. "So why are you leaving?" Jacob seemed uneasy with the silence. "It's complicated, Jake." I shrugged my shoulders. "I figured you would never leave considering how much in love you were with that guy."

I cringed a little. He was not going to let this go. "Like I said, it's complicated." I said, staring straight ahead into the night. "Well, would you stay if I asked you to?" Jacob voice cracked with uncertainty. I turned to look at Jacob. His eyes were big and brown, like a faithful puppy. "Jake…" I gentle pushed his shoulder. He quickly grabbed the side of my face with is hand. A low growl came from the woods beside my house. "Jake," I took his hand down and shook my head no.

"I just wish we had more time," Jacob said, looking down. "I will miss you Jake. You're a great friend," I said. I hated to see him so sad. "Yeah, friend," he said to himself. He found a small smooth gray stone on the ground, and picked it up. "Do you want another soda?" I asked, hoping to get away from the subject. "Sure," Jacob said, as he turned a small stone in his hand. I got up and went inside to the kitchen and grabbed two sodas from the refrigerator. I walked back past Charlie and Billy still watching the game. They were arguing over the umpire's decision of calling the baseball player safe at home plate.

I watched the curtains blowing in the breeze in the window as I walked towards the door. I suddenly stopped in my tracks. Edward, my Edward, was outside, talking with Jacob. My breathing became short and rapid, my heart was fluttering. I slowly moved towards the window. I stopped when I could hear their voices. "Well, make her stay," I heard Jacob say. "Jacob, if Bella wants to leave, she is free to do so," his voice was rough and forced. "I don't get it, I thought you two were in love or something," said Jacob. "Bella thinks it would be best for me if she leaves," Edward said.

"That's crazy," Jacob said. "I can't believe you are just letting her leave. I knew it. I knew you were no good for her."

Edward smiled. "Do you think you would have been better for her?" "Yeah, yeah maybe," Jacob was now growing angry. "She wouldn't be leaving if she was with me." "You might right about that Jacob,"

Edward's voice was empty. "But she chose to love me." Jacob looked at Edward with hate in his eyes, his breathing became deep and hard. "Bella is wrong …to love you. You deserve no one's love, especially hers," Jacob said with a growl. He threw the small stone across the yard, his body was trembling. "Jacob?" Edward asked with caution. Jacob shook his head, and backed away from Edward, sweat pouring down his face. "Jacob, are you alright?" Edward asked again. Edward's eyes grew wide and he quickly pushed Jacob towards his car. "Jacob! Go! Now, just leave! Charlie will make sure Billy gets home. Now! Leave!" Jacob didn't argue and quickly got into his car and sped away leaving so many questions behind.

I stood there confused with what I just saw. Why did Jacob have to leave so quickly? I sat the drinks down on the table and rushed outside. Edward was still looking out where Jacob's car had once been. I walked up to Edward. He slowly turned, not looking into my eyes. He crossed his arms and stared at the ground. It felt amazing to see him again; even if he was avoiding eye contact with me. The hurt he felt emitted from his body language. It was almost like he was protecting himself from me.

"Where's Jacob going? What's wrong?" my voice was frail and I was quickly losing concern for Jacob with each passing moment of seeing Edward so depressed. "I'm not really sure; his mind was hard to read. There was a shift in his thinking, he needed get away….it wasn't safe for him to be here," his voice was quiet, laced with uncertainly. For the first time since I have known Edward, the confidence that so easily flowed from every fiber of who he was, was gone. He was merely a 17 year old boy who, although was beyond beautiful, was insecure about himself.

"I gotta go. Please let Billy know that Jacob was feeling ill. I'm sure Charlie won't mind taking Billy home," he said. "Okay," I said in a whisper. It was all I could say before Edward turned and left in a blur. I went back inside to tell Billy about Jacob.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The next morning dragged as I got ready for school. Everything I did seem to be in slow motion. I tried to sound excited when I called my mom to find out what school I would be attending in Jacksonville. Robert E. Lee High School was where I would be going. It was a bigger school, huge compared to Forks High. I looked forward to blending in and getting lost in the crowd. Without Edward in my life, I would be lost.

The rain was tapering off when I got to school. For one brief moment I thought I would see Alice and Jasper at school. My heartbeat became hallow as I thought about the possibility of seeing Edward. This was my last day of school, tomorrow I would be leaving. I didn't want to leave like this. I wanted to at least say goodbye to him. I parked my truck and there in his usual spot was Edward's car. A crippling pain in my chest made me lean against the steering wheel, taking deep breaths; I tried to calm myself before seeing everyone.

A tap on my window pulled me out from my trance and I looked up to find Edward looking at me. His eyes were dark, with purple and blue bruises under her eyes. He helped me open my door and I grabbed my book bag.

"Hi" said Edward, his voice was calm and honey smooth. "Hi," I whispered back. I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't find my words. Here it was my last day of seeing him, and here I was screwing it up. I got out of the truck and we silently walked to class. Edward kept his distance from me. It was hard not touching him. I held my hands so I would not touch him. It was second nature now to touch, hold, and caress him. My skin burned for his cool icy skin.

In our first period class, English Lit, I tried to focus on what Mr. Stevens was going over with "The Great Gatsby." It was not easy with Edward glaring at me the entire time. His hard, dark eyes were drilling into me and I felt each minute pass, digging deeper the pain he felt with me leaving.

The bell rang and I knew I could not hold on any longer. Edward was going to end up hating me for hurting him so bad and I could not stay any longer to witness the growth of his hatred. Edward would understand, after I was long gone, how much better off he was without his thirst for my blood. Maybe he would not hate me one day. I grabbed my books and turned in my paper. I quickly walked to the school's office to finish the paper work for my transfer.

"We are going to miss you Bella," said the office secretary, as I handed her my completed paper work. "Good luck in Jacksonville." "Thanks," I muttered as I headed for the door. I opened the door and met Edward's black eyes as I walked past him. He slowly turned and followed me out of the school. Each step felt heavy and I could no longer pretend that leaving was going to be easy. Tears fell as I kept looking forward, never looking back at Edward who was still following me at a distance.

I went to open my truck's door when a creamy white hand grabbed the handle before I could. "Bella," a beautiful whisper breathed into my ear. "Please, I know you don't want to see me, but I can't let you leave without…." His voice dropped at the end, flooded with anguish. I turned to face him, looking at the ground. It felt safe looking at the ground instead of his aching eyes.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry that I bring such pain to you in so many ways. I'm sorry that no matter what I do you are in some kind discomfort. But once I'm gone, when time has passed….you will move on," I said each word with as much conviction has I had. I truly believed in each word I spoke to him. He would move on, he had forever to forget me.

"Never," he breathed. "I could never forget someone who has given me so much. I would never want to forget the one who completes me in the best way possible. I have no soul, Bella, you are my soul." Edward closed his eyes, taking his hand, he lightly strokes my cheek. "You believe leaving will somehow save me from the burning pain I feel for your blood," he spoke with his eyes still closed. "I know you leaving me will do no such thing as to relieve my pain. You leaving will only cause a torment that I do not wish to even consider. Can you understand that, Bella?"

The rain began to gently fall, washing away my remaining tears, washing away my tattered and torn resistance. I could no longer leave Edward Cullen. If I had to live a life that was empty and incomplete, a life without Edward I would. But I slowly began to realize that Edward and I were forever altered. Our love would prevail against any suffering felt by him or myself. Redeemed by my undying love I had for Edward, it was reassurance for him in those despairing moments that cause him the deepest thirst for my blood or the slip of restraint with his incredible strength.

I looked up at Edward, his eyes closed; he was as still as a marble statue. I took my hand and gently touched his face. Edward sighed and slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. I cupped his perfect chiseled face in my hands. "Stay," he whispered in one last plea. "Will you tell me if it is ever too much?

If I ever cause you too much agony by my presence…" I said, while sincerely looking into his eyes. "Bella," Edward rolled his eyes, "you could never cause such…"

I didn't let him finish. I stretched up on my toes and reached his mouth with mine. Our lips met in such sweetness, my heart skipped a beat. Edward crushed his hard, smooth lips into mine; his hands burrowed deep in my long hair. He wrapped himself around me. It was a kiss like no other. Electricity swirled in my mouth, flowing out from my fingertips as I wrapped myself around him. I felt alive. He brought life to my soul as much as I brought to his.

Passion flowed between us, leaving me out of breath. I slightly pulled away to breathe. "So does this mean you will be staying?" Edward breathed, with a slight twinkle in his eyes. Hope was drowning his senses. "If you will have me," I said with a slight smile. "I want to spend forever with you Bella," his voice was serious. "Does this mean you will change me?" I asked.

Edward threw his head back and laughed into the rain. Taking my face into his hands, he looked deep into my eyes. "There is no forever without you, love…. No such thing could ever exist without you. I could not exist without my Bella."

"I'll take that for a "yes," I said. Edward leaned down and kissed me again. Sealing closed any lingering questions I might have on sufferings in his life caused by my presence.

_The End_

(**continue on if you would like to read alternate ending... reviews are welcome! :) **)


	7. Chapter 7

**This is an alternate ending to my first story Solar Eclipse... In this story Bella does leave Edward and Forks, how will he cope with his loss? Thanks for reading... Will be updating very soon. Reviews are welcomed. Enjoy!**

The next morning dragged as I got ready for school. Everything I did seem to be in slow motion. I tried to sound excited when I called my mom to find out what school I would be attending in Jacksonville. Robert E. Lee High School was where I would be going. It was a bigger school, huge compared to Forks High. I looked forward to blending in and getting lost in the crowd. Without Edward in my life, I would be lost.

The rain was tapering off when I got to school. For one brief moment I thought I would see Alice and Jasper at school. My heartbeat became hallow as I thought about the possibility of seeing Edward. This was my last day of school, tomorrow I would be leaving. I didn't want to leave like this. I wanted to at least say goodbye to him. I parked my truck and there in his usual spot was Edward's car. A crippling pain in my chest made me lean against the steering wheel, taking deep breathes; I tried to calm myself before seeing everyone.

A tap on my window pulled me out from my trance and I looked up to find Edward looking at me. His eyes were dark, with purple and bluish bruises under her eyes. He helped me open my door and I grabbed my book bag.

"Hi" said Edward, his voice was calm and honey smooth. "Hi," I whispered back. I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't find my words. Here it was my last day of seeing him, and here I was screwing it up. I got out of the truck and we silently walked to class. Edward kept his distance from me. It was hard not touching him. I held my hands so I would not touch him. It was second nature now to touch, hold, and caress him. My skin burned for his cool icy skin.

In our first period class, English Lit, I tried to focus on what Mr. Stevens was going over with "The Great Gatsby." It was not easy with Edward glaring at me the entire time. His hard, dark eyes were drilling into me and I felt each minute pass, digging deeper the pain he felt with me leaving.

The bell rang and I knew I could not hold on any longer. Edward was going to end up hating me for hurting him so bad and I could not stay any longer to witness the growth of his hatred. Edward would understand, after I was long gone, how much better off he was without his thirst for my blood. Maybe he would not hate me one day. I grabbed my books and turned in my paper. I quickly walked to the school's office to finish the paper work for my transfer.

"We are going to miss you Bella," said the office secretary, as I handed her my completed paper work. "Good luck in Jacksonville." "Thanks," I muttered as I headed for the door. I opened the door and met Edward's black eyes as I walked past him. He slowly turned and followed me out of the school. Each step felt heavy and I could no longer pretend that leaving was going to be easy. Tears fell as I kept looking forward, never looking back at Edward who was still following me at a distance.

I went to open my truck's door when a creamy white hand grabbed the handle before I could. "Bella," a beautiful whisper breathed into my ear. "Please, I know you don't want to see me, but I can't let you leave without…." His voice dropped at the end, flooded with anguish. I turned to face him, looking at the ground. It felt safe looking at the ground instead of his aching eyes.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry that I bring such pain to you in so many ways. I'm sorry that no matter what I do you are in some kind discomfort. But once I'm gone, when time has passed….you will move on," I said each word with as much conviction has I had. I truly believed in each word I spoke to him. He would move on, he had forever to forget me.

"Never," he breathed. "I could never forget someone who has given me so much. I would never want to forget the one who completes me in the best way possible. I have no soul, Bella, you are my soul." Edward closed his eyes, taking his hand, he lightly strokes my cheek. "You believe leaving will somehow save me from the burning pain I feel for your blood," he spoke with his eyes still closed. "I know you leaving me will do no such thing as to relieve my pain. You leaving will only cause a torment that I do not wish to even consider. Can you understand that, Bella?"

The rain gently started to fall, I took Edward's cool hand into mine and he opened his eyes. "Edward, we have to at least try being away from each other. I cannot stand by and watch you suffer. You mean too much to me." Looking into his eyes, I found my last drop of strength that I needed to tell him goodbye. "I promise you, you will forget me, after a while it will be like I never even existed."

"No," Edward voice was just above a whisper. "It will be like an eternity in hell." "Try," I said, looking deep into his cold eyes. I grabbed my truck's handle and opened the door. I threw my book bag in the cab and looked back at Edward. He was hard as stone, glaring at the ground. I slowly got in my truck and started the engine. I closed my door, closing the life that I loved so much with Edward. He never looked up from his fixed stance. I slowly drove away; tears blurred my vision of the road. I looked back at Edward in my rear view mirror. He was a marble sculpture, frozen in time. Even as the rain grew heavier, he never looked up. I watched as Edward Cullen slowly faded out of my rear view mirror, and out of my now shattered life.


	8. Chapter 8

EPOV

The rain fell on my cold, icy skin. I couldn't look up to see my world crashing around me. Bella was leaving me and as far as I was concerned, my life, my existence was now over. My soul was gone and once again a soulless monster.

The months of feeling happy, sad, excited, nervous…loved, feeling anything, was now replace by emptiness. A black hole consumed my heart and I felt pain like never before. I grabbed my chest, fearing I was going to burst with this new dark agony. I was right, the torment of Bella leaving was worse than anything I have ever felt. Worse than the burning fire I felt for her blood. It took everything I had to walk to my car. I wanted to disappear, no one, not even my own family, held my interest anymore.

When I finally reached my car, I allowed myself to finally drop the human charade. I grabbed the steering wheel and dropped my head. My eyes tightly squeezed as the bitter pain of losing Bella stunned my body into uncontrollable shakes. I dropped my head into my hands, tearless sobs slipped past my cool and calm manner. A primal sound mixed with angst, shot through my body and I realized it was me. Moaning, growling, and pleading passed through my clenched teeth all at once. It was a sound like no other.

My car door opened and Emmett gently slid me over to the passenger side. Without saying a word, he started the engine and drove me back home. Emmett's thoughts were what I expected it to be while we drove. _Bella really did a number on him now_. _Can't believe she could hurt him_ _so badly. If I ever see her again_… "Don't," my voice was harsh, almost growling. "Don't even think about her, or say her name. You will never see her again. I will never see her again." I choked on the words. They were words I thought I would never have to say out loud. My deepest nightmare was coming true.

I was such a fool to believe that she could love me the way I loved her. I watched the rain drops glide down the window as we drove home; wondering what was in store for me when I got to the house. Alice must have informed everyone that today was not going to end in a good way. I thought I could convince her to stay, using my vampire lure that I tried so often to play down. My looks, my voice, even my smell, I thought I could get her so "dazzled" as she once said, by my presence that she would stay.

It didn't work. I failed at the one good thing that had ever come into my existence. Jacob Black was right I didn't deserve Bella's love. I was lucky to have any time with her. I wanted go back and count every second that I had with her. I knew my time with her was limited, since I did not want to give her a life of damnation. But I thought, just for a second, that she would stay and we would have more time.

We pulled up to the house and I got out car, Rosalie was in the garage working on her jeep. _Wow, he looks horrible. Stupid human, he should have never trusted her_. Emmett must have seen my face twisted in pain from her words. He raised his hand toward Rose, "Enough Rose, stop!" Rosalie was surprised to find Emmett reprimanding her; she was used to getting her way with him.

This is why I wanted to avoid home. Everyone's thoughts assaulted me as soon as I got into the door. _My poor Edward, he must be suffering so much. I'm so sorry Edward, if only I had more control that night. Edward, I'm here if you ever want to talk. I'm going to miss her too you know. My son, he deserves to have love in his life. How is he going to possibly move pass this, losing his true love… his other half?_ I closed my eyes and let everyone's apologies flood my mind. Go ahead, I thought, let it out so I can start to lose myself in the darkness that I felt now that my sun was gone. There would be no more light, no more goodness, even if I lived thousand more years.

I slowly nodded my head in acknowledging their heartfelt apologies. I knew that they would miss her too; she was a part of our family. Sadness and loss echoed in everyone's thoughts, even in Rose's. I dragged my body up the stairs and went to my room. Everyone knew I wanted to be left alone and they were thoughtful enough to all leave the house so I could have only my thoughts. Although I appreciated their kindness, I knew I could not escape their thoughts forever.

I sat on my couch and stared out the window, watching it rain. Time had no meaning anymore so I don't know how long I was in that position. Carlisle gently put his hand on my shoulder and woke me out from my trance. It was now dark outside. "Edward, son," Carlisle's voice was full of concern and grief. "You haven't hunted in quite some time. Perhaps you and I can go out together and hunt tonight."

"There is no need," finding my voice. I kept my eyes ahead, looking at the clearing night skies. Carlisle sighed and dropped his hand. "You know I am here, for whatever you need, but please son, don't stink so deep in the darkness that we lose you too." Carlisle left my room, closing the door behind him. I sank my head in to my hands and began weeping, feeling more alone than I have ever felt before.


	9. Chapter 9

EPOV

I saw no need to move or do anything, so I remained frozen; counting all of the seconds I had with Bella. I was starting to wonder if vampires could go mad, as I replayed every minute detail with Bella. Every detail flashed in my mind of her. The way her chestnut color hair would fall as she ran her hand through it. The way she would slightly bite her bottom lip when she was nervous or in deep thought. Her liquid chocolate eyes haunted me in my every thought now. They were so full of love and warmth. The electric current her touch gave me….

A low growl started to build in my chest as I thought about another male falling in love with her in Florida. I was not ready to let her go. Bella must still love me, I told myself. She left because she thought it would ease my burning thirst I had for her blood. I chuckled at the dark thought that my own personal brand of heroin was now gone, and I was detoxing. Of course what drew me to Bella was more than just her sweet lavender and freesia scent of her blood. It was true that her blood, made my venom flow, waking up the monster inside of me, giving me a battle that, I thought, I would lose at times. But Bella was my everything; she made my heart beat once again drowning the monster that lived in me for so long.

"Come in Alice," I said as I heard my favorite sister's mind questioning if now was a good time to talk to me. "Hi Edward," her voice was small. I must have looked horrifying, about to bite, perhaps. "Don't be afraid, dear sister," I said. _Well, you look like death._ A slight smile crossed Alice's face. "I feel like death, Alice," my voice was coarse. "You must be really thirsty Edward. Come hunt with me this morning, please?" She walked over and sat down with me on my couch. Alice grabbed my hand and looked into my dark, tired eyes.

"I know your answer," she whispered. "But I just wanted to ask anyway. It has been three days since she has left." Could that be right? Have I been completely ignoring my family for the past three days? "I am sorry; I have not been very… present," I said, trying to find the right word. "It's okay Edward," Alice lightly squeezed my hand. "I really miss her too. I see Bella…"

I took my hand away from her, feeling the black emptiness as she said her name. I shook my head, "Don't, please don't tell me anything. I can't handle the thought of her moving on, happy with someone else." Each word stung my lips as I said them. I wanted Bella to be happy, she deserved to be happy. I was truly selfish. "She is miserable," Alice's voice was low as visions of Bella in bed crying deep into her pillow played my mind. Another vision of Bella talking in her sleep, begging me to forgive her for leaving, I closed my eyes and turned my face away from Alice.

"Her future is unclear right now. She might be coming back," Alice voice soared with hope with the idea of her best friend moving back to Forks. I wasn't about to let Alice's wishful thinking, bring me any kind of pleasure. "Ah, I see they thought you could ease me into a family meeting," I said as I heard everyone's thoughts outside my door.

My family walked into my room, and crowded around me still sitting on the couch. Carlisle spoke first. "Edward, I know with Bella leaving, you have been not up to playing the human role. But if you continue to miss much more schooling…." Carlisle eyes dropped to the floor. "No," I hissed. "We are not leaving Forks." Maybe some of Alice's hope slipped past me, settling in my dead heart. "Carlisle, we love it here! We can't move just because some human broke up with Edward!" Rose was furious.

"Rose, with Bella gone and Edward not being at school, people will soon talk. We never want anyone to talk about us, no matter what the reason maybe." Carlisle was not going to change his mind. Rose was going to say something else, before I cut her off. "Of course Carlisle, I would never want to put our family in any situation where we were forced to leave because of me. I will go back to school tomorrow." I stood up, feeling almost stiff from not moving.

Alice jumped up beside me. "Great, let's go hunt Edward," her perky voice was starting to wear thin already. She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my room.

**To be continued...**


	10. Chapter 10

**October**


	11. Chapter 11

**November**


	12. Chapter 12

**December**


	13. Chapter 13

**January**


	14. Chapter 14

EPOV

School had become my own personal prison once again. It had been four months since she had left me and everything returned painfully back to normal. _How can these humans act like everything is fine?_ I thought as I looked around the cafeteria. Bella's name faded out of conversations and thoughts only a couple of weeks after she left._ Do they not_ _understand the warmth and joy she brought to this cold and gray place?_ By using my sadistic super powers, it was easy to keep others away from me. I looked a little crazy, fine by me, I felt a little crazy now.

My mind can think and process multiple ideas and pieces of information at once, but now it was consumed by only thoughts of her. Our moments replayed non-stop and I was starting to waiver in between living in the real world and my world I created with Bella in my mind.

The rain was steady as I headed out to my car after school. I saw my brothers and sisters waiting by the car for me and I was not pleased with their thoughts. We were having company this afternoon and I was in no mood to play nice. Tanya and her sisters where coming to see if I was "okay." But I knew the meaning behind their visit. Tanya never understood why I did not return the feelings she felt for me.

She was nowhere near my type. She was beautiful, yes, but Bella's beauty was natural and pure. Tanya's looks were giving to her by the evil gift of vampire venom. But beauty aside, Bella held my entire interest. My mind, body, and soul were engulfed by Bella's glow. Tanya was nothing more than a stone girl, wanting to find her mate, misplacing her feelings onto me. My mate was in Florida.

"So I guess you won't be coming home with us, huh?" Alice voice broke through my thoughts of distaste I had for our company. My face twisted at the images in Alice's mind of Tanya trying to console me in my time of need. "No," I said flat. "I don't think I will be returning home with you all today."

"Where are you going? You have so many places running through your head, Edward," Alice said, now annoyed. She worried about me a lot. She didn't like it when my future was blurry. It scared my favorite sister and I was apologizing daily about the lack of care I now had for my life.

"I don't know yet," I turned and looked Alice, giving her a small reassuring smile. I threw my book bag into the Volvo and started for the lush forest. "Will I see you tonight?" I heard Alice yell as I walked away from my family. I never turned back to answer as I disappeared into the sea of green.


	15. Chapter 15

I just wanted to get completely lost in my head and in my memories of the human girl who turned my existence into a forever sentence in Hell. I didn't dare go near our meadow in fear of me entirely losing my sanity. Today I could no longer hang on. I wanted to lose myself and leave everything behind. Alice lost Bella's future after the first month, and I stopped believing she was ever coming back. I'm sure Charlie would fly to Florida to see her on Spring break. I realized I was running full speed through the woods now. My legs quickly carried me to the meadow, my body and mind were eager to dive into the madness that was waiting for me in the field once full of wildflowers and life.

The rain tapered off as I reached the edge of our meadow. The image of our last visit here replayed in my mind. Bella in tears trying to explain she needed to leave and me pleading with her to stay. I fell to the ground as the pain ripped through my empty chest. I closed my eyes and sucked in deep breathes as I tried to control the stabbing pain. I was getting better at controlling the searing pain I felt with the loss of my Bella. I looked up to find the sunlight peeking through the swollen clouds.

I, at one time, had a great loathing for the sun. The odd effect that the sun has on my skin made me feel like a caged wild animal. The sun controls my days, and my desire to be normal and live a normal life. There would be no sunny days at the beach for us, and I resented the power the sun had over my life. Throw in the consent practice of self-control I need to have over my burning desire to feed off of humans I am, indeed, a caged wild animal.

But now I felt a new sense of gratitude for my few sunny days here in Forks. I closed my eyes, slowly stepping into the light, letting the warmth of the sun kiss my face. I instantly let my imagination take over and imagined Bella touching my face with her radiant hand. Of course, her touch would have been more like an electric current, but I would settle for any warmth now. I kept my eyes closed and opened the palms of my hands towards the sky. If only I could be swallowed by this warmth. I pictured me caressing Bella's ivory smooth skin, running my cold fingers down her shoulders. A smile touched my lips as the scene felt so real. "Edward…" I heard my love whisper. I quickly opened my eyes, finding myself alone in the field.

The visiting sun gently faded as the clouds begin to roll back in. I looked at the ground, shaking my head. Surely I was now starting to lose it, but I didn't mind at all. She seemed so real, standing here in our field, her touch. I would happily go crazy to have another moment like that with my Bella.

"Edward?" a voice that sent chills down my spine called behind me. I turned and look to find Laurent at the edge of the woods. "It is you! My dear Edward, tell me how have you been my friend?" Laurent said as he extended his hand. I looked down at his hand and forced myself to look at his face. I wanted to kill him. Laurent sensing my hatred backed away with his hands up in the air. "Hey now…." said Laurent. "I did not want to harm your human friend. Understand? How is she doing anyhow?"

"Fine," I said through my clenched teeth, not taking my eyes off of him. "Good, good. I never understood what you saw in keeping her alive…. a pet, perhaps? You and your family have very interesting lives indeed," a smile creped across his face. "I did try your lifestyle for a while as you might have heard. I stayed with your friends up north. But sadly I could never get the hang of resisting, when the aroma is so grand and rich!" Laurent licked his lips.

"In fact, I just ran into Victoria," he said with a spark in his eye. I lunged for his neck and threw him down, crashing into the earth. "Peace friend." Laurent breathed out as he grabbed my hands around his neck. "Tell me everything now!" I spit in his face. My hatred was flooding over with each finger tightening around his neck. I wanted him dead.

"I…. I …" he choked out. I loosened my grip to let me speak. "Is your human friend still well?" I said nothing. "Well, if she is I would not worry about Victoria. She did speak at one time of getting revenge for her James' death. But if the girl is fine, maybe Victoria has calmed down." I tightened my grip around his neck as the images of their conversation played in his mind. I wanted his words and his thoughts to end. Only one quick twist and Laurent would be no more.

"How can you be sure Victoria has moved on from her plan?" I said as I squeezed his neck even tighter. Laurent tapped my arm. I loosened a bit to let him speak. "I don't, not for sure at least. But what I can do is tell her I killed the girl and that there is no need…." My hands where cutting off his voice again. Twist, just one small twist, but if I killed Laurent how could I be certain Victoria would not get to Bella? I needed Laurent to be a massager to throw Victoria off of her plan. I let go and sat beside Laurent who was rubbing his neck. "If I let you go…." I begin to speak, "and if you don't tell Victoria this….." My voice was dark and full of violence. I looked at Laurent who was now sitting beside me. "Understand killing you and Victoria would bring me much pleasure, and I would not rest until you are both dead."

I watched as Laurent played out the scenarios in his mind. He truly did believe he could convince Victoria that he took care of Bella. He also pictured me ripping his head off in one quick twist. He swallowed hard. "You have my word. Please, I have nothing against the human girl," Laurent said as he stood up. I quickly joined him, looking into his eyes. "Come back and let me know when you tell Victoria. And if you have any doubt that she doesn't believe you…." Laurent stopped me before I could finish. "No, I know she just wants to hear the words."

Laurent and I went our separate ways. I could hear voices near and I didn't want to draw attention to us. "I don't believe it…." I heard Laurent whisper. His thoughts were in a panic. I ran to the edge of the woods to see the Quileute wolves. My mouth dropped as I thought the wolf blood line faded out over the decades. I watched as the giant wolves tackled Laurent who never stood a chance. The wolves' razor sharp teeth shredded his body. Sounds of growls and stones grinding together filled the air.

The wolves' thoughts were excited to be killing the vampire. _My first blood sucker…._ The younger rusty brown wolf was especially excited. Laurent now lay scattered around the meadow and the wolves walked into the woods. They were gone for only a second as the transformed into their human forms. "Make sure you get every piece like we talked about Jacob," said the leader of the pack, his voice booming with authority. "Yeah, I know. I got this," Jacob said. He had grown a lot since I last saw him.

I now understood what was going on that night at Bella's house. He was joining the Quileute pack. I turned and ran at full speed away from the scene. Even though the wolves would not touch me due to the treaty I did not want to risk it with such young immature wolves around. Although it was tempting to have the wolves end my pitiful excuse for living, I now needed to make sure Victoria would never lay a hand on Bella.


	16. Chapter 16

Reviews are welcomed. :)

When I reached the house, Alice was pacing outside waiting for my return. "Edward!" she called out when she saw me walking out of the woods. "I saw you decide to go to Jacksonville, something about Laurent and Victoria?" she was shaken up by the future she saw. "Alice!" looking deep into my sister's eyes, I needed her more than ever, "Can you try to focus on Bella and make sure she is safe? And also Victoria, can you see anything with her?"

It seemed like eternity as Alice closed her eyes, becoming so still, she turned into stone. Alice put all of her concentration on Bella's future. Her eyes flew open, "She's okay," she says with a smile and a deep sigh of relief. A smile found its way onto my lips for the first time in four months. Images of Bella played in my mind from Alice's vision. My chest swelled with happiness, filling in the hole that was created the day she left. My Bella, my love, my light that brings my existence to life, was okay. Victoria or any other vampire hasn't touched her….yet. "Do you see Victoria at all?" I pressed wanting to know if Victoria was far away from Bella.

Alice stood motionless once again and closed her eyes. My stare dug down deep upon Alice as I watched her determine if Bella was in near danger or not. Alice slowly opens her eyes. "I can't see her as clear. She is moving towards Bella, but she seems lost, trying to find her." My jaw clinched as I see Alice's visions of Victoria. Alice was right, Victoria was close. "I need to go protect Bella," I said in a blur as I raced inside the house.

I quickly found Carlisle in his office. "Carlisle, I need to go to Florida and make sure Bella is alright. Victoria wants to avenge the death of her mate, James," I spilled out the words as soon as I reached his desk. Carlisle's head jerked up at once from his book and was on the phone with the airlines to find me the next available ticket. A second later I was in my room, throwing clothes in a bag. I hated to have to worry about keeping up a human facade while traveling. I was wasting precious seconds in pretending to be human.

Tanya stops in the doorway of my room. "Hi Edward," she says softly. "I was beginning to wonder if I was going to see you on this visit." Annoyed, I lose my gentlemanly manners. "I can't talk right now Tanya. I gotta catch a flight," I growled. Tanya slides beside me in one fluid move, looking deep into my cold hard eyes. "I just need to tell you something before you go," she said with a hopeful smile. She glides her hand into mine. I look past her, my body frozen, letting her continue to speak. "I know you have been in a lot of pain over your human girlfriend leaving," said Tanya, looking up at me. "But I wanted you to know…." I turn and look away knowing where this was going due to her thoughts. "I guess you know how I feel. If I could still blush, I would," she said with a laugh.

"Tanya," I said as I let go of her hand. "I have no doubt in my mind that there is someone out there for you. Your true mate, but I'm not….." I shook my head. "Bella is my true mate." Tanya crossed her arms over her chest and drew in a deep breathe. "How could she mean anything as deep as your other half, Edward? She left you?"

"Carlisle told us everything... how she left you, how you begged her to stay," Tanya spits the words out, showing a hatred for my Bella. "After all that, you are still going to stand here and say she is "your other half?"' "I can tell you that you would never be in pain with me. I would never leave you. We have the same life Edward. We are bonded together forever by venom. Nothing would have to change. It would effortless with me Edward. Effortless."

"I have to go now Tanya. Enjoy the rest of your visit with my family," I said as I rush past her out of my room. I quickly check back in Carlisle, finding him still on the phone. "Yes, fine…. Yes, he will be paying in cash…. Of course, thank you very much," Carlisle said in his most soothing tone. Humans loved his gentle tone and often used it with his patients. Carlisle hangs up the phone and swiftly goes to a late 18th century painting of a landscape and pulls it off the wall, exposing a safe. "I couldn't get a ticket fast enough, so I have arranged a private plane to take you to Jacksonville," he said, as he quickly opens the safe, pulling out large amount of money.

Carlisle gives me the money, with a concern look in his eye. "This should cover everything Edward, flight, hotel…. Enough to cover a ticket for her, to bring her back here if need be. We want to protect Bella as well, Edward, she's a part of this family," Carlisle's voice cracks at the end. "Alice hasn't seen anyth…" he begins to ask. I raise my hand, stopping him, as I perceive his thoughts were getting dark. "No. Alice can't track down Victoria, but she has seen Bella." I was letting myself enjoy the sound of her name on my lips. It seemed like forever ago that if I said her name out loud, my lips and my body would burn more than vampire venom, with the thickest of scent of sweet blood next to me. Even at our first meeting, Bella's blood did not send me into such a blistering state of pain as saying her name when she left. "She's okay," I breathed out.

"Good. Go then. They are waiting for you at the airport," Carlisle smiles and shakes my hand. "Thank you Carlisle, for everything," I said, as I turned to leave the room. I sped down the stairs, opening the door, in vampire speed when I heard Carlisle's final thought to me, _stay safe, son. _


	17. Chapter 17

Reviews are welcomed. :)

BPOV

While sitting on the white sandy shoreline in Jacksonville, Florida, I held my cell phone in my hand, incessantly brushing my fingertips over the keypad. Every fiber of my being ached to call Edward, but I knew if I ever heard his honey smooth voice I would break and I would be on the next flight out, heading back to Forks.

My cell comforted me, making me feel oddly close to him, believing he was only phone call away. It was my daily ritual now to come to the beach after school, cell in hand. I would mindlessly stare at the crashing blue-green waves and trace over the numbers, forcing myself not to call.

If my Mom and Charlie had their way, I would already be back in Forks. Since moving in with my Mom, we have had some of the biggest fights ever, all involving how miserable I was and how I refused to move back to Forks. For the past four months, I have let the blackness that was now my life completely engulfed me.

I didn't eat, sleep, or talk, I was just shell, existing, moving in and out of everyday life. I was lucky to be in such a big school where the crowds and large classrooms swallowed me, I knew nobody and nobody knew me, my Mom and sometimes Phil, were the only ones who I ever spoke to.

"That's it!" I heard my Mom say in one big huff. "I'm sending you back to Forks." I looked up to see my Mom standing there, her arms folded in disgust, wanting to discuss my future… again. "What?" my voice croaked out, rough from the nightly terrors of me waking up screaming into my pillow.

The same nightmare every night, me losing Edward, and my sanity along with him, I would fight every night to hold onto him, and every night I lost, knowing he must have moved on by now. "Bella," my Mom sighs as she sits down beside me. "I can't stand seeing you like this. It's not normal… you need to go back to your Dad's."

"No!" I said as my face flushed red with anger, already feeling the tears building up in my eyes. "I… like it here… I just… need more time." I begged, wanting to believe that this tortured life I was living was in some way saving Edward from the burning fire he felt for my blood.

If I went back now, surely the pain would be fresh, like the first day I saw him at Forks High School. "Bella, your Dad and I have already bought you an airline ticket for you to move back. It's not really up to you anymore. We are your parents and we are going to do what is best for you," said my Mom.

"What so now you're going to play the parent role?" I lashed out. My Mom stiffened as the pain of my words washed over her. "I know how much you are hurting right now Isabella, so I'm going to pretend that I didn't just hear you say that," she says quickly as she stands up, brushing the sand off of her legs.

"Why don't you finally dial that number and call Edward Cullen, because you will be seeing him in two days." My Mom said as she turned and headed back towards our house, finalizing my future plans, leaving me, stunned and overwhelmed at the thought of seeing _him _in two days.

I slowly looked down at my cell, could I call him? I took in a deep breath; filling my lungs with salty thick air, closing my eyes, a smile gently extends across my face. I _could _call him; I would be seeing Edward in just two days.

I looked down at my phone, my only connection to Edward in months. I quietly pushed each number, dialing the Cullen's household. The phone, slightly shaking in my hand as I gradually raised it to my ear, my heart pounding louder and harder with each ring.

"Hello," a smooth silky female voice answered. It wasn't a voice that I have ever heard before. I sat there speechless, trying to figure out if this was the right number or not. Blinking out of my daze "Umm, is… is Edward there?" my voice weak, still doubting if I called the right person. "No, he is not. May I ask who is calling?" the voice on the other line was short, but beautiful.

"Bella… I'm Bella Swan," I choked out, biting my lip as the stabbing pain hits my gut of being so close to hearing Edward's velvety warm voice falls short. The girl takes in a deep sucking of air, as if my name repulsed her. "Edward is not here anymore. He has left," her voice was full of anger that I felt somehow was aimed towards me. "Oh." I breathed out, as I felt my chest being punched in with another new hole. The line went dead as I kept the phone to my ear, staring out at the sea.

I dropped my cell, hearing it land softly into the sand. As I sat there not moving from my blank stare, my mouth slightly opened, every word that I have ever known left my mind, leaving me with nothing to say or feel. My hands flew over my mouth as I silenced the scream that was now coming out. It happened. It really happened. Edward Cullen had moved on from me and I was heading back to Forks. My head spun out of control as I now realized that the nightmare that I have been having for months was now coming true.

**To be continued... **


	18. Chapter 18

EPOV

When the private jet that Carlisle had arranged landed in Jacksonville Florida, my human facade was beginning to crumble. I forced myself to use a sluggish human pace as I got off of the plane. I wanted to run as fast as my legs could carry me to Bella's house.

I tipped the flight attendant generously, since I knew she was terrified after her flight with me. In my craze state of panic and fear, my mind played out different scenarios, all of which I was too late to rescue Bella from Victoria; resulting in me seating, unmoved in my seat as I was burning in my own personal Hell. "Enjoy your stay in Jacksonville, Mr. Cullen," her voice shook. The flight attendant's thoughts where loud and clear, as she handed me my bag, _wow he is so handsome…but so strange!_

I walked over to the car that was waiting for me and I committed to my memory, that if all of this turned out well, to thank Carlisle for all that he has done for me in my fight to keep Bella safe. I slid into the black Mercedes with dark tinted window, and turned the key, it purred to life.

The weather seemed to play in my favor as the thick gray overcast skies met the afternoon. I pulled away from the airport and sped to Bella's school. I needed her address, and I figured I would take a play out of James' book and find where Bella was living through the school records. I knew I was at an all-time low since I now was taking cues from a vampire that nearly killed my Bella.

As I pulled up at Robert E. Lee High School, I was pleased to see the school faculty was gone for the day. I parked around back, and headed to the main building. I easily found a window that was left unlocked; and opened it and sliding through. Now inside, I raced off to the main office using my vampire speed, and found the student records.

I slowly pulled out the folder marked Isabella Marie Swan, her name looked like perfection and my dead heart started to beat once again. I opened the folder and read, she was failing almost every class, and she had missed a ghastly amount of days, with words like "depressed" and "troubled" hand-written in the notes. A hiss slipped passed my lips as I realized I was the cause of all of this, she was still in love with me and I was selfish enough to enjoy that fact for a brief moment. I found her address and in two heartbeats I was out of the school, walking back to my car.

I drove to Bella's house; each minute that past, my stomach churned, twisting into knots. Would she even want to see me? What will I say when I see her? I pulled up to her house and my dead heart dropped as it appeared no one was home. I got out of the car, and slowly walked up towards the front door.

My throat started to burn, I swallowed deeply as Bella's faint sweet human scent electrified every dry nerve in my body. I closed my eyes and embraced the burn, and for the first time in four months I felt, alive. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at the "Welcome" mat, knowing where the spare key was located at the Swan's household back in Forks, I knew underneath the mat there would be a key. I moved the mat and picked up the key, and unlocked the front door. The intense fragrant scent engulfed my senses, sending my throat into a blistering blaze. I quickly sucked in one last breath as I felt it was too much for me to handle.

I walked through Bella's house, and easily found her bedroom. I walked into her room and looked around as the light from her windows was showing it was now dusk. I slowly closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, her scent choked me, and my black eyes flew open, showing my thirst. I fell to my knees, as the venom pooled in my mouth. I was tempting the monster that lived inside of me and I didn't care. I needed to keep Bella away from Victoria, and I was not going to let my chance to desensitize myself from her insatiable scent slip by.

The scorching fire that raged inside of me was nowhere near as strong as the seventeen year old boy who loved Bella Swan. The monster was strong, but I was stronger. A small smile crept across my lips as I realized my life will be coming together soon. I would see Bella and with any luck I would convince her to come back to Forks. I had proof she was not thriving here and as stubborn as Bella was, I was more stubborn to the point of moving me, was like moving stone. I would not let her go this time.

My cell buzzed in my pocket and I quickly looked down to see it was Alice calling. I answered the phone. "Edward!" Alice's voice was full of anxiety and tearful. I froze, my body rigid and cold, and I knew. . . with one word, I knew, my Bella was no longer safe.

**To be continued...**


	19. Chapter 19

((sorry... my computer ate my chapter and it got out of whack... I tweaked it a little sorry for the repost :) ))

BPOV

I walked in a foggy haze for hours. I didn't know where I was going, it didn't matter. I knew and felt nothing anymore. The only fact that was charred onto my brain was that Edward Cullen had left Forks, Washington and I would soon be moving back there. The thought of living in Forks, of going to school, made my chest ache with pain filling in my emptiness.

Maybe it's not too late, I told myself… maybe if I begged my Mom to stay with her, she would let me stay in Jacksonville. There were no reminders of him in Jacksonville, but in Forks, there would be reminders of him at every turn. I looked down as I trudged through the thick white sand making my way to the public pier. I frowned, knowing my answer, Charlie and Renee had made their decision and I knew I would not win this fight.

I walked onto the spacious public pier ignoring the laughter coming from the families and friends, hearing only a light buzz of conversations, leaving me to wonder how anyone could live and be happy with a part of themselves missing. I looked up at the sky, seeing it was now dusk, the sun was moving behind the evening clouds, darken the skies along with darkening my mood. I made my way, weaving in and out of the crowd; a few people looked at me when I walked past them in my zombie-like form. I didn't care what I looked like; I didn't care about anything. I stopped as I reached the very end of the pier looking out at the wide ocean view. The endless dark blue water looked peaceful and I yearned to feel that sort of peace.

I closed my eyes as the crowd was slowly moving out and as the night skies grew around me. The salty air blew my long hair away from my face, giving me a taste of salt water on my lips. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked ahead, looking out at the vast empty ocean. My eyes soon caught something in the water. I narrowed my eyes, trying to focus on the floating object.

Whatever it was, seemed to be coming closer towards me. The color of the object was snowy white, a complete contrast to the ocean's deep blue. Fiery red spread around the small space of white that I saw. I leaned in, wondering what kind of animal could that possible be. I looked around wondering if anyone else saw what I was seeing, realizing I was the only one left on the pier. I turned my focus back to the water and watched the figure that was slowly moving towards the shore. I leaned in over the gray faded rails, squinting my eyes once more. And then I saw…. _her_ blood red eyes.

My eyes widen as I froze in fear. Victoria had found me and now she was after me. The thought of death at the hands of Victoria caused my brain to spin out of control in panic and terror, but it was soon replaced with the idea of peace. Maybe my next life will be more peaceful than this. It would only hurt for a second I told myself. I felt my body push hard against the wooden rail. Still hanging over, I continued to watch Victoria glide through the water towards me. She did, indeed, look like a very deadly animal, which I knew she was. In a split second I heard a crack in the wooden rail, and then I felt myself fall down towards the water, falling like a pebble into the crashing blue waves beneath me. I grabbed onto thin air as I felt myself drop, my eyes wide, watching the swirling water coming towards me at a heart dropping pace.

I hit the water hard, the salt water stinging my eyes as I kept them open, quickly looking for any sign of Victoria around me. I surfaced on top of the water, waving my arms, my body telling me to fight, to swim away from her, but my mind was telling me to let go, that it will be an easy way for the sadness to finally stop. The waves tossed me around as the incoming tide, proved to be rougher than I could swim against. My throat burned, gulping mouthfuls of salt water as I continue fight against the crashing waves.

I looked up at the massive pier pilings around me, giving me a false sense of being protected from the oncoming vampire who wanted nothing more than to take my life. As I was looking up, another enormous wave picked me up, slamming me into one of the pilings, causing me to go under the strong pull of the water; my eyes flew open while I was under, and I paddled my way up to the surface once more.

When I broke through the water, I thought I was entering heaven, everything became crystal clear and quiet. While looking up at the calming twilight skies there stood what looked like Edward Cullen, my Edward. My mind whirled in confusion when I saw his frozen face and his dark eyes showing pure horror and shock. I turned my head and I wonder if I was in heaven now, after drowning in the ocean and Victoria draining me dry. But I wasn't in heaven; I was surely now in Hell. I saw her cat-like face and ruby red eyes coming towards me now even faster.

I opened my mouth to scream, only to have another wave of water wash over me, pushing me back down. My eyes remained open as I looked ahead seeing her haunting white face swimming towards me, my body and mind screamed at me, _FIGHT! _I started to swim underwater as best as I could with my arms and legs burning from trying to stay afloat for so long.

One final wave was my last blow, I felt my whole body hit the sharp piling, my head slammed against the thick wood. I looked ahead once more and I felt my body relax and stop fighting. Slowly the warm salt water filled my lungs, making them sear in pain. My eyes sluggishly closed feeling the water softly bounced me around. Edward's face slowly moved closer to me, and I believed that my heaven was coming soon.

**To be continued... reviews are welcome. :)**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

EPOV

"BREATHE! Come on baby breathe!" I pleaded with her lifeless body as I frantically tried to remember to put just enough pressure on her sternum not to break her ribs. I did my 30 count and tilted her head back lightly with my fingertips, placing my icy lips on hers and I blew gently while I pinched her nose closed. I pulled back and listened, the silence was deafening and my frozen heart was breaking into a million pieces. I went back to work, pressing on her chest, praying I was keeping her blood flow going. I made deals with every spiritual deity that humans worshiped, _just let her live... just let her live... _

Finally by the third set of chest compression and breaths, I heard the most beautiful sound, sending my dead soul soaring with hope. Bella's heart sluggishly started to beat once more. I leaned back and moved her head to the side so she could cough up the water that was keeping her lungs from moving freely. I watched her body arched, squeezing her eyes shut tight as a violent cough forces the water out of her lungs. "Bella..." my usually smooth voice broke with relief. My reason for living turned toward me and opened her warm chocolate eyes wide. I waited on pins and needles to hear her sweet voice.

"Oh crap! I'm dead!" she croaked out, she quickly grabbed her throat as the salt water must have made her throat raw with pain. I couldn't help but slowly smile at her confusion. I shook my head, "No Bella, you are a live and well." Her face was anything but calm and serene, she furrowed her brow, as I'm sure questions flooded her mind. The meeting that I have dreamed about for months, was less than enthusiastic in my reality now. I frowned not able to hide my disappointment. "No... no... I can't be... I am so dead. Poor Charlie... my Mom..." she continued to ramble. I moved and sat down on the sand, resting my forearms against my knees. I looked down unable to meet her beautiful eyes.

"No Love, I pulled you out of the water. I had to perform CPR on you," I said, my voice shook, not able to hide my uncertainty as I started wondered if she was happy to see me or not. I felt Bella's small warm hand squeezing my stone-like arm. I looked at her, finding her eyes wide with panic and fear. In one fluid movement, Bella was in my arms. I was no longer able to fight what I had been wanting to do since I saw her on the pier. "Bella," I breathed her name like it was my air, "She's gone, Victoria is gone.. she can't hurt you."

"But how?" her voice was rough, I knew it must have been painful for her to speak. I placed my icy finger over her lips,wanting her to rest her voice. "When I dived in to get you, she saw me and her instincts told her to flee, so she did," I explained, looking down at her pale lips while my thumb skimmed across them. The warmth of her skin was like getting close to a flame of a candle. Her lips left my thumb tingling, sending my body craving more of her warmth. My fingertips trailed from her lips to her jawline, tangling them through her wet hair as I cupped her face.

Her eyes searched mine as I held her. "Come home," I begged while I slowly closed my dark eyes, resting my forehead against her lightly. "Please, just come home." I whispered.

Her warm caress along my jawline, sparked an electric shock shooting down my entire body, causing me to open my eyes and look at her. "Edward...," she whispers my name. "I know you have moved on... a girl answered when I tried calling you to tell you I'm moving back to Forks. She said that you had left Forks," she mumbles. Bella's words were sad and a small smile touched my lips. I relished in the fact that she was at least feeling something for me.

"So a girl... answers the phone telling you I'm not there and now you believe I have moved on?" I said in disbelief. I couldn't help but laugh. This poor human girl was truly clueless how much she was a part of me living and not just existing. "How can one move on when someone already has their heart? Hmm?" I raised my eyebrows finding her theory amusing. "My heart has been here with you the entire time, Bella. It's impossible to live, let alone, to move on when such a part of me is missing."

Bella quickly blinks, as my comments took her off guard. "I...I-I guess I was wrong," she fumbles while I watched her cheeks slowly blush a soft pink.

"Ah, there's my Bella," I said lightly, taking in her blushing against her ivory skin. Being near her was already lightening my mood. "I did leave Forks yes, but only to come and find you. Alice saw Victoria getting too close and I came to Jacksonville and protect you. I needed to make sure you were okay."

"Oh," she said. "So you've been here, but you have kept your distance from me?" says slowly, her eyes dropped, and I quickly knew where she was going with her thought.

I moved my head to the side and cupped the other side of her face, taking in all of her with my crystal clear eyesight. I was able to hold my lips in a thin grim line, instead of showing my real displeasure in her appearance.

My eyes traced over her tired face from the restless nights, her eyes sunken in a bit on her thinner face. "I just arrived today, and I went straight to your house... well after I found your address in the school records of course." I slowly smiled a crooked smile at her, testing to see if I could still dazzle her after all of this time apart. My gentle smile grew as I heard her heartbeat increase to a healthy rhythm. "When were you planning on moving back to Forks?" I asked softly, using my charm to my benefit. Although my tone was light and airy, my thoughts lingered heavily on what I wanted to add to the end of my question, but was still too anxious to ask... _and what does that mean for us? _

Bella slowly looked into my eyes and I held my breath, waiting for her words to release me from my sentence in Hell. Bella Swan in Forks, Washington, seeing her face, hearing her voice, the possibility of feeling more of her touch,... the images of her caused my silent chest to flutter with desire. Our kind are created to be monsters, killing machines, stopping at nothing, all for the sweet reward of the taste of blood. What Carlisle has done for me, in giving me a family, showing me another way in this life has been nothing short of inspiring. But what Bella has done for me, tearing down the barriers of this life so a 17 year old boy from Chicago can feel and show love... that has been nothing short of blessing. Bella was my silent prayer answered a hundred years later, she was my miracle.

"Now... I'm moving back to Forks now," she said quietly while she looked at my slight crooked smile I held for her. My thumbs grazed her cheekbones as I leaned in and carefully brushed my lips against hers. My fingers soon found themselves tangled deeper into her hair while I pulled her in closer to me. Her scent was intoxicating, but what held my interest the most was the electrifying energy between us. That kind of energy was undeniable. I felt my ice covered soul slowly thawing, making my dark world bloom in light once more, as my sun, the center of my universe, started to shine

**To be continued...**


End file.
